Mother's Day

Mother’s Day has always been a little strange for me.

As a child, it was kind of sad for me.  My own mother was paranoid schizophrenic and was institutionalized when I was ten.  I really have no memory of her being a “real mom” to me.  When Mother’s Day came around at church, it was painful for me to hear people talk about their moms and know that I didn’t have that.  I grew to really dislike the day. 

Then I got married, and I looked forward to being a mom.  I think as a young woman, my greatest desire was to have a large family.  That did not happen.  So I kept disliking the day.  I’ve read a few blogs recently about childless women feeling so left out when they have the moms stand at church.  I get that. 

Finally in 1999, we were able to adopt Jack.  He truly was worth the wait.  God gave me the desire of my heart. I remember how blessed I felt to take care of him and how the love I felt for him healed me of the hurt in my heart at not having my mom there.  Today, he is such a blessing to me as our little family struggles with my husband’s illness.  While he is certainly not a perfect child (He IS a teenager), he has a good heart, and I know that my road would be harder if he weren’t the young man he is.  

I will never forget my first Mother’s Day.  We traveled to Colorado to visit my Aunt Cecile and attend my cousin Patty’s college graduation.  I spent a lot of time that day with my aunt.  She told me so much about my own mother and how she was before she became ill.  She gave me my mom’s baptismal certificate as well as some pictures.  I am still so grateful for her and the time she took to introduce me to my mom-to the person she was before the illness took that away. 

As I look back over my childhood now, I realize that while I didn’t have my mom, I did have many other women who helped me become the person I am today.  I was truly blessed to have these women in my life.  I have tried as an adult to do that for others as well-to pay it forward.  My son tells me I’m everyone’s mom.  A friend tells me I’m a mother hen.  So maybe I didn’t get my large family the way I planned, but I guess God had other plans for me.  Funny how that works, the plans God has for us are always better than our own even when we can’t see it.

God Bless my friends on Mother’s Day whether you have a large brood or, like me, have never given birth and just mother the ones in your life who need it.