Size 2

I want to be legally recognized as a Size 2. I know that historically the measurements of my jeans and me have not been recognized as the definition of a Size 2, but shouldn’t our definitions of such things evolve with the times in which we live. I shouldn’t have to conform to some narrow definition of a size 2 made of years ago by narrow minded bigoted people who don’t understand the way we modern people live our lives. For a while some judges ruled that I was legally a Size 2, and my jeans and I had a big party and invited all of our friends. Then some bigoted skinny people decided to put a measure on the ballot denying me my right to be legally recognized as a size 2.l and it passed. I can’t believe how fataphobic some people are. What does it hurt them if even though I weigh a hundred pounds more than a size 2 that we are both legally a size 2?

Random Thoughts on my week and current life

Okay, I have posted for a while. I've had a busy....er...three months. I decided I better post something, anything so here are some random thoughts....
I volunteered to be music minister at my church because nobody else wanted it. Mostly what I do is pick out the songs based on the sermon. My pastor has been using the Old Testament scriptures from the lectionary. This has presented challenges for me in picking out songs. This week is the worst. The sermon is on Deborah including where Jael puts a spike in Sisera's head. I came up with a few songs that somewhat fit the theme. Today I thought of a great one...If I had a hammer.
School has been challenging given my aforementioned busy-ness, but we're settling down to our new year in earnest now. I've made a bit of a switch to a more Latin centered classical. I'm using The Latin Centered Curriculum as a guide. It's more of a challenge for both of us, but I'm seeing some results. One of the recommended books is Tales of Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb. The plays are re-written as stories, but they are at about a 6th grade level. Jack's been reading it and the other day he said, " Mom, wouldn't it be cool to go back and see a play by Shakespeare when he wrote it." It just warmed my heart to hear that. This book was in the "youth" section of the library we use. The children's librarian at the library tried to steer me to some easier versions of Shakespeare's plays. I politely told her that I wanted this book. I'm glad I did. Another thing we're doing is reading our way through American History. We're still in the early explorers stage, reading mostly biographies. We're reading a biography of Magellen right now. I usually try to read the book before Jack, but I've had to read it while he's reading this time. He's gotten ahead of me part of the time. The other night I was reading a chapter he'd already read. He asked, "Did you get to the mutiny, yet?" I hadn't, but then I told him when I had. He said, "Isn't it exciting?" I'm so glad he gets excited over history. This year for science, we're doing Botany. I'm very impaired when it comes to growing things. We planted herbs over a month ago and well, I'm pretty sure I'm just watering dirt these days. We're going to try again with some system my sister said is fool proof-We.. shall...see.... One thing that did grow is a bean seed we "planted" in a zippy bag with a wet paper towel and taped to the bathroom window. It's still growing long after the experiment was over. We've named it Jack's beanstalk.
Well I can't think of anything else to rattle on about so I'll close.

Jack's Baptism

Here it is: My first effort at Window's Moviemaker-a slide show of stills and video from Jack's baptism. He at first wanted "I'll Fly Away" as done by Jars of Clay but later decided he liked this song better. It definitely fits the theme better. By the way, some of these stills were taken by my pastor's wife, Carrie Miller, although I did do some editting on them.

Social Gospel/Social Justice

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the idea of social gospel and/or social justice. I admit I am a bit conflicted on this area. I do believe as Christians we need to help our neighbor whoever that may be, but I also think that if we focus too much on idea of social justice, we tend to forget that our primary focus is the gospel. As I've been thinking about this, I've also been following what's been happening in the Anglican church: There is a schism developing between The Espiscopal Church in the United States and much of the rest of the Anglican church worldwide over the ordination of homosexuals as well as some other issues. The homosexual issue gets a lot of the press, but it is actually a symptom of a church that has lost its way, its focus on the gospel. The head of the church in the US believes that Jesus is a way not the way. I think this is real problem; everything else is just a symptom. Anyway, some of the US churches have actually left the ECUSA and placed themselves under the leadership of foriegn bishops, mostly African and South American. I've been reading a great deal about this on blogs like Stand Firm. I read the following as part a discussion on homosexuality and trying to justify it Biblically. I think that it really clarifies for me the idea that it is the gospel we are to give to people and that through it, people can find the healing that they need.
It was made in response to this comment:
"[D]o the specific condemnations, in Leviticus and the Epistles, outpunch Gospel evidence of Jesus’s concern for the marginalized?"

This argument drives me bonkers, and now I need to rant.
I’m not aware of the Gospels, or any Scriptures, using the term, “marginalized.” Jesus was concerned for the poor, i.e, his own family and probably 90 percent or more of the people of Judah. He told them they should not worry about how to clothe themselves or where their next meal would come from because God would provide for them in accordance with his plan.
He was concerned about, specifically, tax collectors (who were often some of the wealthiest people in Judah because of their dishonest practices) and sinners. He even ate and drank with them. He did this so that he might call them to repentance.
He commanded us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, tend to the sick, and visit the prisoner. He healed some lepers and some who were blind, deaf, mute, crippled, or possessed by demons. Some of these people were social outcasts. Some were not. It wasn’t they way they were regarded by others that concerned Jesus. It was their own brokenness. Your faith could move mountains even if you had the tiniest amount, he taught them.
Today the poor we still have with us, as Jesus prophesied, and as well we have the hungry, the naked, the sick, the prisoner, the lame, the blind, the deaf, and the demon-possessed. Broken people still in need of wholeness. A fallen world still in desperate need of good news.
This business about his concern for the marginalized that is so often touted by liberal theologians makes it sound as if Jesus’ primary concern was to set aright the relationship between rich and poor so that we would learn to eliminate poverty and discrimination through our own efforts. To the contrary, his primary concern was the relationship between each of us and God, which is to be set aright by the simple act of each of us believing what God has said and trusting that he can and will keep his promises. If every person were in such a faithful relationship with God, there would be no poverty, because the Holy Spirit would be at work in each of our hearts to meet our neighbors’ needs.
We don’t attain social justice by working for it. We don’t “attain” social justice at all. Social justice arises through the efforts of God alone when we step back, take our hands of the steering wheel completely and permanently, and trust God’s providence. In the realm of the kingdom, prayer is our most powerful tool. It can accomplish anything. It is those still mired in this world who are heeding the call of the ruler of this world, working through our pride, that we must earn our salvation and that we can fix what is wrong in the world without God’s help.
You can’t save Judah through your own personal acts that you consider righteous, Jesus told the scribes and Pharisees. You must instead humble yourself, ask God’s forgiveness, and cast your burdens on the Lord. In that way, and in that way only, you open the door to your salvation and to miracles here on earth. The message, then and now, is counter-intuitive. Satan still does everything he can do, as he did then, to mask the gospel and change it so that we will not grasp its true implications.
Making sure people hear and understand the authentic message of Jesus, countering those who would distort it, is a vital vocation to which many, clergy and lay, are called by God. Thanks be to God that he is sending laborers into the harvest. Let us pray that he will continue to do so in the Anglican Communion.
[9] Posted by Rick O.P. on 06-25-2008 at 11:06 AM

Men and Women

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the "Battle of the Sexes." When I was at a children's retreat recently, I encountered a woman who was very negative about the male gender. It made me think about my own behavior towards the men in my life. I hear a lot of bashing on both sides, but maybe I am more sensitive to the male bashing because I am the mother of a boy. I want him to find a mate (someday) who appreciates him in all of his maleness, embraces the differences and doesn't bash him for being a guy. I sometimes wonder if any of these little girls wearing their "Girls rule" t-shirts will grow up to love and appreciate him, or if he's doomed to be feminized by the first cute chick who comes along.
Along these lines, I read a blog discussing the idea of equality and "Battle of the Sexes" from a Biblical standpoint. It was good discussion of equality without the negativity and bashing. Here it is: http://menandwomenleaderstogether.blogspot.com/2008/05/adam-and-eve-in-genesis-and-first.html
Hopefully I've posted that correctly.

I guess I'm needed

Well, I guess I am needed by my husband and son. I had to put in a long shift over the weekend which caused me to be gone from home from Saturday AM until Sunday AM. I came home Sunday morning about nine and then left straightaway for church. During church, I looked over at my son who was leaning forward and noticed that his undies were showing. Upon further inspection, I realized that they were not his undies, but his dad's. I guess they do need me at least to keep their undies sorted.

Pictures from my week

(All of the images in this post are from my cell phone so forgive the quality.)

I asked this fellow why he was crossing the road, but he didn't answer, he just went to the other side.

This rooster was one of a group of chickens that got loose from a neighbors and hung out in the woods near us for the week. They were pretty amusing to watch.




These are my parents' graves. I planted daffodils last fall, (surprise!) they came up. I have just about the brownest thumb of anyone I know. Last year, my annuals did better while I was on vacation-my husband said they knew I was gone, and it was safe to grow. Anyway, I guess planting these in such close proximity to my dad (who had a very green thumb) helped them grow well. Not sure you can really mess up daffy's anyway.

This was taken through a screen on a window at church. The robins have built a nest in the bush just outside of one of the windows.

Interesting Blogs

Please check out my new blog list. These are blogs that I've been reading and find interesting. I've put two up there but will add ones as I have time. The Constructive Curmudgeon is a very good blog that I've just started reading thanks to the Vere Loqui blog. The author seems to think a lot like me but puts things into words better than I do. Vere Loqui is also quite good, but Martin Cothran is very active in Kentucky politics. The result is that there are many entries about Kentucky politics. Some of these are about things that are national issues and issues that we are facing in Ohio as well-accountability in education and legalized gambling. He can also get very deep at times; and I don't know how other people are, but I have difficulty reading this kind of material on a computer screen. I do hope that you will check them out and enjoy them as much as I do.

Maple Syrup Time

The following is a reprint from my myspace blog from about this time last year.
A couple of updates are in order: First, the price of pancakes has gone up-we went last week and it's about $18 for all three of us-still a deal. Second, my comment about not having DSL-finally got it last summer, but with the weather it's been a little iffy this week.
I have to share a little funny from our meal last week. When I was served, they gave me a HUGE pancake telling me I was the 300th customer (not sure I bought that). I only took the one since it was as big as my plate. I barely finished it, but I told Geno, "Well I can tell people I only had one pancake and not be a liar."
Another little note about Pancake breakfast, we do this every year. It's one of those little traditions that we've started. I think that this is such a great thing to do for kids-it just builds those happy childhood memories. We go every year to the breakfast at Century Village and then go to the little general store there and get a little something. Jack loves this. I'm glad I can do this for him. You know, we don't know how long we'll have with our children and we need to just make time to do these kinds of things. I lost my parents when I was pretty young-an adult, but a very young adult. I miss my dad everyday, but one of the things that sustains me, aside from knowing I'll see him again one day, are the memories I have of him.

Maple syrup time. I live in Northeast Ohio, and a sure sign that Spring is coming is that there are pancake breakfasts everywhere. If you don't know, Northeast Ohio is big maple syrup country-Vermont gets all the acclaim, but we are just as syrupy here. Every school child learns the steps to making syrup. (I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you.) Seriously from mid February until sometime in April we are just Maple Crazy here.
And I love it. First, I love maple syrup. I love candy and to me Maple syrup is like having candy for breakfast. When I was a little girl, I could eat french toast or pancakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because I got to have syrup on them. (Per my last blog-I guess maybe I need to add gluttony to my sin list.) You can see from my childhood pictures, I was just a little thing, but boy could I put away the pancakes. That may be why I'm not a little thing now. When I was at church camp, I ate over 20 pancakes one morning in a pancake eating contest. BTW, I never could eat pancakes without getting syrup in my hair. I wore braids ala Laura from Little House from the time I was 8 or 9 until I was 12 and usually one would end up in syrup. I have very thick coarse hair and things tend to stick to it even today (kind of like velcro) so syrup was hard to get out.
I still love pancakes although I don't think I could eat 20 now. I actually don't eat them much now. I'm not very good at making them. When I do make them, I usually give my son the best ones and get the goofy burnt ones. (I just cover them with syrup ) I also don't have a lot of time to make them. I get them at restaurants when we're on vacation and every year we go to a local pancake breakfast in March. Today was the day to keep that tradition. After church, we went to Century Village and had our pancakes for lunch. It's a good deal. You get all the pancakes you can eat 3 sausage links, applesauce, milk, and oj for $6. Kids are only $3 so we got a really great lunch for $15. What a deal. They've gotten kind of fancy-offering blueberry and applesauce pancakes, but I'm a traditonalist and stick with the buttermilk.
You know sometimes small town life is kind of a pain. My current headache is a lack of DSL. Actually some people in my area have it-some don't. I don't. However, with all the faults, I love living here. I love that we have stuff like pancake breakfasts. I love the fact that I've lived in the area for almost 35 years and wherever I go, I see someone I know. Chances are I've known that person since I was a kid.
I also love Maple Syrup-it's candy..........for breakfast.

Ohio Winter

We are in the middle of a snowstorm today. I hope it's our last big hurrah. Somebody noted to me a few weeks ago that our winters don't seem as bad as they did when we were children. I don't think this is true, but I also think we had a couple of really outstanding winters as children in the late 70's that sort of cloud our memories a bit. Most notably, we had the big blizzard of '78. I know that this dominates my memories of winter growing up. We had no electricity for close to a week, hurricane force winds, and when it was all over, snow drifts you could dig tunnels in. This week's ice storm with its big power outage brought back memories of that to me. I'm embarrassed to say that as prepared as I usually am for things, the power outage really took me by surprise. We hardly ever have them, but I still should have more that just flashlights ready. We got rid of our kerosene heaters a few years ago. I can't use them on a regular basis because of my allergies, and on one of my frequent purges of belongings, I sold them. I promised Geno I would buy a new one as soon as I could and keep it and some kerosene in the shed-just in case.
I thought back to the big blizzard of my childhood and realized that it wasn't as disruptive to us because of our lifestyle. We used a woodburner to heat the house anyway. We had a propane stove. Some things haven't changed since then, though. I spent a big part of my time that week reading. I think I read 4 or 5 books-I know Little Women was one. The woodburner in our dining room had a metal cover over it that had doors on either side. I would sit in a chair with one of the doors open and my feet up on the cover, reading as long as the light lasted in a day. On Wednesday, after we did school, Jack and I got under the fifty covers on my bed and each read our own book. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised that Jack didn't complain much about no TV or WII. He was unhappy about the cold, but he kept busy. He read and played.
He was not without his sarcastic comments. We had gone out briefly to a neighbor's; and when we pulled into the garage, he said, "Back to the house of the dead." I should note that by that time, our phone service was also out; and since I usually charge my cell phone at night, I really didn't have that either. The house must have seemed very quiet and dead to him without the almost constant ringing of one or both of the phones.
In spite of our current snowstorm, I am grateful that at least we still have power; and I have a nice warm house with lights and heat. Take care and keep warm.

Ice storm

I was all ready to complain about the ice storm and all of the problems it caused me, but somehow I can't. Last evening when we were on our way home from trying in vain to find a kerosene heater, even my Eeyore husband noted how beautiful everything was covered in ice. This morning I took these pictures, but they really don't do the scenes' justice. When I was outside this morning, the hymn For the Beauty of the Earth kept running through my head. Here are the first and last verses of it:

For the beauty of the earth, For the glory of the skies,

For the love which from our birth, Over and around us lies;

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thyself, best gift divine, To our race so freely given,

For that great, great love of Thine, Peace on earth and joy in heaven

Lord of all, to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

Amen.

My little girl Junior

Here's my sweet little girl Junior. Let me explain the name. Until November of '05, we had the greatest dog in the world, Bubba. He was a Great Dane/Lab mix-120lbs of pure love. I had him from '95 until we had to have him put down in '05. He was 13-old for either breed. He was deaf, was almost blind, and had arthritis. It was a difficult decision to make, but after seeing him come in from the cold one day, not able to use his back legs, I knew we had go ahead and put him to sleep. It was awful for all of us, but honestly I think it was hardest on me. He had been my companion when I would be home alone in those years before the boy came along. I worked at home, and I would talk to him when I was frustrated. He was a footstool for my short legs under the table when I was working. I absolutely loved him. Since his death, whenever we'd talk about gettting another dog, my son insisted that we call the next dog, Bubba, Jr. When I finally was able to bring myself to start looking for a dog, I decided to get a female Great Dane. I was able to talk the boy out of the Bubba part, but we compromised on Junior. So I have a female dog named Junior whom I call Junie. She is an awesome little girl, but I can't quite forget my Bubba so for now she's the second greatest dog ever.

Martin Cothran's take on Obama's Gay marriage remarks

Obama trying his hand at Biblical interpretation
I thought this was interesting. I wasn't aware that the book of Romans was obscure.

Winter Blahs

I have really suffered this year from the winter blahs. I live with two "eeyore's." I love them both but about this time of year, they can drive me a little nuts. I've also had some extra stress this year. I branched out in my business in October. I contract to the government for the services I provide, and long story short, I wasn't paid for anything I'd done until last week. I have two employees to pay for these services, rent, utilities, etc. so it's been a little stressful. I've also been sick and had a problem employee with whom I've been struggling. There are a few other things that have happened as well. All of this has added up to me feeling pretty blah. I wouldn't classify it as depression because I don't think it's risen to that level and I don't think it's been chemically related. I realized something last week though, and before I say it, I want to be clear about something. I believe that depression is a real disease that has physical causes. I don't think that the disease of depression is caused by not trusting God or having enough faith. I realized though last week that my "blahs"were worsened by something I wasn't doing-looking to Christ and all He's done for me. How I came to that conclusion will either make you laugh or think I do need medication: I listened to the VeggieTales Easter CD. When I listened to the CD which is full of Easter songs, I was reminded of what Christ did for me on the cross and of the miracle of his Resurrection and uplifted by that. I realized that I need to remind myself of His love for me and all that He's done for me when I get down like I've been recently. Somehow, when you know that your Redeemer Lives, it makes it difficult to stay down.

Confessions

Preface:
I haven't blogged here for quite some time, but I'd thought I'd start again. I have blogged a bit on myspace over the last year and thought I'd post one I did about a year ago on there since it is in the spirit of Lent.

Confession
Confession has been on my mind lately. Of course, it is Lent so I guess it is appropriate for it to be on my mind, but I seem to be reminded of it in all kinds of little ways. We had a meeting at church last Sunday of all the people who are involved in the worship service to try to reorganize the service. We were given a basic frame for the service for each week and part of that frame was a time for corporate confession. This is not something we have done as part of the weekly service so we spent a lot of time focusing on this part to determine how we should do this. My church is a non-denominational church, but we have mostly a Mennonite/Amish heritage. Almost everyone in the church is either ex-Amish, descended from ex-Amish or a spouse to one of the above. What's interesting is the diversity of backgrounds of the spouses. I grew up going to an Independent Fundamental Baptist church (I consider myself a "recovering fundie," but that's for another blog.), but I have Seventh Day Adventist and Episcopalian in my background as well. My pastor's wife grew up Lutheran. She shared a confession used in the Lutheran church. We also looked up some confessional prayers in prayer books that my pastor had.
On Monday, with this fresh in my mind, I opened Jack's Latin book to the new lesson and what was the practical Latin phrase for the week? Mea culpa-my fault. The origin for this saying is the Confiteor or confession portion of the Latin mass. The whole phrase is "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa"-through my own fault, through my own fault, through my own most grievous fault. The worshippers were to strike their chest with each mea culpa.
On a less classical note, I saw a sign in front of a church today-"If you mess up, 'fess up."
So there it is, confession is on my mind and in front of my eyes wherever I look these days. I saw the movie Amazing Grace, and it was very good. One line stood out for me. John Newton, the former slave trader and author of the hymn Amazing Grace is talking to his protege, William Wilberforce. He says, "I am sure of two things, I am a great sinner..."
People don't like to admit that they are great sinners. True, I haven't trafficked 20,000 men and women like Newton did, but I am a great sinner nonetheless. It is human nature to justify sin-Adam and Eve started passing the buck in the garden, but we seem to have taken it even farther in our times. We have the non-apology apology-"mistakes were made." We have the cult of self-esteem. It will hurt our psyche if we are horrified by our own sin as Newton was by his. One of the things that struck me in reading some on the history of Newton's hymn recently is how many people called the phrase, " a wretch like me" a hyperbole. It is not a hyperbole-compared to God we are all wretches. We need to see ourselves as God sees us and compare ourselves to a Holy God instead of to our neighbor.
For most of my life, I have been a "good girl." To some, my only fault would be that I am boring. I was not a perfect teenager, but most parents would have called me a good kid. I didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I got decent grades in school. During my late teens and early twenties, while a lot of my contemporaries were bar hopping and bed hopping, I was not. As a matter of fact, I only have one serious regret from that time period. As an adult, I've done it right. I've been married and faithful to one man for almost 18 years, am active in my church etc. I don't say this to brag, but to make a point. Most people who would look at my life would say I'm a pretty good person, better than most even. They would be wrong.
I have a dark heart. I am as horrified by my own sin as John Newton was by his. One of my sins is my own self righteousness. I sit here with my upright orderly life and look down on those who don't have my orderly upright life with such disdain. "Why do they make such messes of their lives?" I wonder when I should be saying,"There, but for the grace of God, go I." I am way too proud. A few weeks ago I almost ruined an outing with my family because I was too proud to stop and ask directions. I know that is usually a male stereotype, but I have difficulty asking for any type of help due to my pride. Our church elects people for their offices/jobs on an annual basis. My pride is so awful that inevitably when I am not elected to an office, my first thought is that the other person can not possibly do the job as well as I can. This is horrible. I am not the only capable person, but my pride is so great that I delude myself into thinking that I am.
I am also impatient with people. I am a Martha by name and by nature. I sometimes think my parents had the gift of prophecy when they named me. I am a doer and expect others to be doers, too. I am right there with Martha, complaining to God and anyone who will listen-why can't those people keep up? Why don't they just do as I tell them? I also have a sharp tongue, and I've been known to use it particularly when I am impatient. I have hurt people with my sharp tongue.
These are NOT the worst of my sins. The rest are too awful to put into print for the general public. So here I am horrified by my sins. What now? Just sit here and be horrified and know that I can never ever be as holy as God?
Back to the Newton quote: "I know two things. I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior." We do have a great Savior, One who died a horrible death for all our sins. If we believe this and trust in Him as our Savior, we can have forgiveness. This is that Amazing Grace and to this sinner, its sound is very sweet.